Having a Happy, Healthy Marriage

I’m no relationship guru. I’m definitely not a therapist. I am, however, a wife. I’ve been married for almost 4 years, but I’ve been in a relationship with my husband for about 11 years, and before that, we were best friends. So, we pretty much have each other figured out. On our wedding night, we had this section where the guest could write their advice to us on little cards. Recently, I was looking through them, and it inspired me to start writing some of my own and also share some of theirs. 

Put the Phone Down

Nothing drives me crazier than being with other people and looking around and seeing EVERYONE using their phone. I am guilty of this; I think most people are. There is so much you can do from your phones now. You could even be working from your phone, but it’s really important to be able to put the phone down to spend time interacting with your spouse without constant distraction. 

Stop letting other relationships control yours

This goes hand in hand with the first one, but social media is not healthy for your relationship, in more ways than one. You constantly see people sharing their “perfect” relationships online. However, people easily forget that everyone is NOT posting about the negative things going on in their relationships; and you will still end up comparing your relationships to what others (seem) to have. Every relationship has its struggles you just don’t always see people airing out their dirty laundry all over social media. 

Encourage Each Other 

Be each other’s number one fan. It’s important to remind each other how proud you are. Let’s not forget that everyone has bad days, and on those days we all need a little extra encouragement to push through. One way to encourage your spouse, especially if they’re in a rut, is to just be positive. When you encourage each other you are providing hope; you’re building their confidence, and you’re showing them that you are there for them. 


Communicating is also very important in keeping your relationship healthy and happy. I don’t just mean being able to talk about what’s been bothering you, or what it is that you like and don’t like. A relationship cannot be one-sided. You also need to be able to listen to your spouse. A lot of people need things written out for them. By communicating with your spouse, you both can set some expectations, therefore, leaving less room for uh-ohs. 

Go on dates

“Never stop courting!” This is something that can quickly get away from you. One of you loses a job; you have a baby, you’re exhausted. LIFE HAPPENS. It’s so important to still be able to put everything aside and make time for each other. At the end of the day, when your kids are grown, and you’re home from work… it will just be the two of you. You don’t want to have to rebuild a relationship with your spouse because you didn’t put in the effort to build a strong foundation from the beginning. 

Do things with each other (outside of dating)

Dates are fun, but as I said, “life happens,” and it’s not always as simple as going on a date. It’s good to have things that you both enjoy doing together; doing so helps build a happy relationship. You can try cooking together, doing yard work, playing games, or even watching tv shows together. Having a happy, healthy relationship is all about enjoying the other person’s company. When you enjoy doing things together, it makes you want to be around each other more.

Have sex

Super taboo, I know, but it seemed like a perfect way to finish this off. Sex is a way to build a happy, healthy marriage. It’s the most vulnerable form of physical intimacy. It’s a way of building trust with one another, and you can grow a stronger relationship. 

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